Why Brussels Sprouts Are My New Main Squeeze

First, a little background: My parents raised a processed household and my meals typically consisted of deep fried meats, corn dogs, and other easily microwaveable fare. It's not that I was really a picky eater, just one unexposed to many of the fruits of the earth (literally). I could list the different kinds of vegetables and fruits I had consumed during my childhood on two hands.There's really nothing sexy, or all that satisfying, about frozen-battered-corn syrup-infused cardboard.

This changed in high school with an adventurous boyfriend with a foodie dad; now there was broccoli, spinach, onions, bamboo shoots, strawberries, dates, etc. Salad! Sorbet! Chutney! My erotic relationship with food had begun.

These days, I experiment with the fun veggies I never had a chance to cook with before. I have casual flings and persistent interests and the occasional torrid affair (see: kale, red cabbage). Last week I made fancy soft tacos with broccolini and stir fried sliced turnip. Then I made a raspberry vinaigrette drizzle Swiss chard and raw cashew pita inspired from a creation by my friend, Alex. But then I saw this on one of my favorite blogs, Vegan Good Things. Click here for the recipe.




Vanderbilt-Inspired Brussels Sprouts (courtesy of Leinana Two Moons)

 All I had was a bag of frozen Brussels sprouts (THAT I GOT FOR A DOLLAR) but decided to give the marinade a try. I simply threw a couple handfuls of sprouts in a microwaveable bowl, filled it with a half inch of water, covered with plastic wrap, and microwaved for 2 1/2 minutes.

I was hungry so I didn't even really wait for the sprouts to cool. I didn't even bother to use a fork. I quickly drenched one in the Sriracha-syrup-citrus dressing with the addition of cracked black pepper and bit into it.

The perfect green orb of leafy goodness was firm but gave way to my sinking teeth at my bite. I passed through the concentric layers and delicate folds to the golden center. The spiciness of the pepper and Sriracha caught the back of my throat and activated my gag reflex just as the hot juice from the sprout drizzled down my hand, all the way down my forearm. I stood there in my kitchen hovering over the bowl in my underwear reveling in sensation and awareness. Bliss, y'all. Bliss.

I savored the rest of the bowl with a whole grain english muffin (totes random). After an off day with an off migraine, this experience made me feel whole again. Needless to say, I highly recommend this method of consuming a food that's good for you and good to you.


Up next: Queering the kitchen!